I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
