Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
