Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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