thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
