i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
