i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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