guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
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