I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Text me some of your sweat
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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