If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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