i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
