Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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