Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
