Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
