went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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