Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
