She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize