you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
