and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
