I think I can smell my own vagina right now
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
