You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
