im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
