now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
