Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize