Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
