just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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