I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
