And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
