that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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