So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
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She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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