i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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