Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Found the puke drawer
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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