when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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