Little spoons don't ask big questions
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
