I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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