i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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