He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
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Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
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I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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