I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
