new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm bleeding and have questions
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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