You're completely useless in the revolution.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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