This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
