something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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