I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if only i could text you this smell
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize