She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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