Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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