Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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