i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
