he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the day after is always just damage control
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
