How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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