I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
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I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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