i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
do herpes really smell.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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