I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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