My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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