apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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