When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize