He disabled his match.com account in front of me
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
splinters make it hard to masturbate
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
