threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I will be naked everywhere
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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