I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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