Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize